Apocalyptophobia in Moderation

The apocalypse has come and gone many times over from a certain perspective. I mean, most scientists even agree that there have been something like five mass extinction events in the history of the Earth, not to mention the countless civilizations that have fallen or disappeared throughout recorded time.

When people generally talk about the apocalypse they refer to some catastrophic event wherein all life is annihilated and the planet shrivels into a lump of uninhabitable rock floating in space or explodes into smithereens. Looking through historical records, though, and scientific theories, it is more probable that we are on a slow journey to the end as a planet. Even if a meteor hits the Earth, I feel confident that something will remain and life will rise again (though I have no idea what it might look like).

That last is the thought that usually brings me some amount of comfort, and sparks my imagination. I also get in these moods where I want to read a book or watch a movie about surviving some apocalyptical disaster. I spend a disconcerting about of time wondering how to rebuild and even run mental scenarios of what I might do if [fill in catastrophic disaster] were to happen.

Sadly, the truth is I donít think I have any single skill that would make me invaluable to the colony, but I can be a creative problem solver. I do know how to sew, knit, crocheted, read, write, cook over an open flame, and some basic first aid. I have experience as a counselor, teacher, and mother (that last one totally counts, though Iím not volunteering my womb). I think all that qualifies me for general admittance if I survive.

Still, there are moments when I look around the room Iím in and I wonder:† if all I had for survival was what was here, how would I utilize my resources? Iíve figured out which books Iíd be willing to burn after tearing out all the blank pages for journaling. Iíve thought of which items would be best for trading or selling. Iíve considered alternate uses for just about everything thrice over. I have even speculated which of my cats would be the best hunteróI know that fluffy little beast would bring back birds aplenty.

I sincerely hope Iím never tested. Looking back over my absolute worst experiences and hardest trials I know I havenít been through enough to really prepare me. The mental exercises can be a fun diversion, but the truth is I know enough about real pain and loss to terrify me. Iím not invulnerable or invincible.

Hereís hoping that all my creative paranoia stays inside my mind. Iíll keep watching those disaster movies and laughing when the date they claim has passed me by. Iíll keep reading futuristic distopic novels and be glad that things rarely go the way imagined. One day our sun will explode, but by then we may have discovered a way to escape it and life will go onÖsomewhereÖsomehow.

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