The secret to maintaining any deep, meaningful relationship is coffee and conversation. Sociologists refer to these concepts as commonality and intimacy.
We are drawn to others by what we share with them, our commonalities, such as our mutual enjoyment of coffee. This is the introduction, the spark. Without the commonality there is nothing that prompts us to do more than notice those around us. Perhaps we may appreciate the visual distraction they provide, but our commonalities are the lead in to establishing a relationship.
What really seals the relationship, however, is the conversation, or rather the quality of the conversation, the intimacy. We can talk about our mutual enjoyment of coffee, but the relationship may stay superficial. It is the deeper meaning of the coffee that must be explored. What does the coffee mean to us? How does it make us feel? What do we do when it is too dark and bitter for us to take?
Those that engage in the conversation of the deeper meaning of coffee with us are the ones who cross the threshold from acquaintance to friend. The best friends are the ones who divulge and invest as much as we do in the conversation. It is important to note that the conversation may change and evolve over time, but the conversation we begin with a friend continues for life with only momentary pauses.
I am always fascinated by the thoughts and feelings of others. It is also interesting to read up on studies and articles about relationships such as in Friendship: The Laws of Attraction. This one got me thinking after a particularly emotional week connecting with my dearest friends, and the result of that thought process is what you have just read. What are your thoughts on friendship?