If you spend anytime listening to the things kids say, every now and then there are some real winners of wit and wisdom. You’ll also get a lot of laughs. It is one of my greatest challenges to maintain a firm stance when my daughter says things that send me into a laughing fit so extreme that my eyes water and I lose the ability to breathe. I’m sure this confuses her literally oriented brain. I mean, how can I be serious about sending her to her room when I’m laughing hysterically?
Our most recent episode of this came about just last night. We were sitting on the couch playing video games when she up and throws a stuffed toy at my head. She wasn’t being malicious, just mischievous, but I knew I needed to send the message that throwing things was NOT OK. Throwing things at people’s heads was VERY NOT OK. And throwing things at Mommy was VERY VERY BAD!
I gave her the Mommy Glare and told her to go to her room. She began crying, saying she was sorry, and that she wouldn’t do it again. I told her that I was glad she didn’t mean it, but that she still needed to go to her room. No more video games. It was time for an early bedtime. I’m trying to teach her that words are valuable, but that they aren’t enough. There are consequences.
She was walking towards her room crying when she turns around and starts in again with the “I’m sorry.” When she got that I wasn’t budging she lifts up her hands to wipe her tears then grabs her head and says, “But I…I…I lost my mind! It doesn’t count!”
This, of course, stunned me silent for a moment. Did I hear her right? How in the world had she come up with the insanity defense? I pointed in the direction of her room trying to stay firm, but I was beginning to crack. First a twitch of the lips then an involuntary snort of breath. She looked at me, saw the window of weakness, and repeated her argument. I was rendered ineffectual by my uncontrolled laughter after that.
Here are some of the things I’ve heard from my 6 year old daughter in varying context.
- I hate this planet, I’m leaving.
- I don’t like the way it tastes. I think I’m allergic.
- Mommy, puppies are not dogs. They are little.
- I’m going into my closet, be back soon!
- Daddy, stop saying monsters! Monsters aren’t real. Only zombies are real.
- It feels spiky, like Cheetos.
- I lost my mind! It doesn’t count!
- That wasn’t dessert, that was a snack. I haven’t had my dessert yet.
- The cat needs a bathing suite. I want to take her swimming.
- I don’t want a cat anymore. I want a spider. Can I pretend she’s a spider?
As she grows I look forward to all the new things she’ll come up with, and I have her little brother who is currently 2 to also look forward to hearing from. You never can tell what will come from the mouth of my babe.