No matter what else is going on in my life, I am first and foremost a mother. I devote much of my being to this accepted state. There is no mountain that cannot be moved for the sake of my children. Though I embrace motherhood and all its challenges, I do acknowledge that I am more.
Finding time to be all that I am and wear all the hats I am asked is sometimes a task worthy of Hercules, but let’s face it, the only task asked of Hercules that even brought him a glimpse of the kind of overwhelming sense that I sometimes feel is when he was sent to clean the Augean stables in a single day, but he didn’t have to do this with his kids in tow, still get dinner on the table or take care to finish all his other daily chores.
My time can largely be divided into three basic classifications. If I were to make a pie graph to illustrate how my time is divided motherhood would be at the very least half the pie, writing time would be most of what was left, with personal time coming in as a sliver. This doesn’t mean there is no room for anything else. I have friends for whom I always make time, and there is a husband who gets woven in with every aspect of my time one way or another.
For the most part I attend to the different aspects of my life in a fluid fashion with a sense of love (cheesy as that sounds). Unless there is a specific deadline or appointment I rarely feel the press of time upon me, though I am fairly aware of time. I once tried to schedule everything. When that didn’t work out, I tried to be more flexible by slotting times to devote myself to certain things. I have since discovered that neither of those methods really worked for my productivity or creativity.
It isn’t easy, but I am learning that I thrive on sharing and collaborating with others. Some of my best ideas begin in the conversations I have with the people I love. The books I read, movies I watch, and the music I listen to help inspire and build those ideas further. While I complete writing assignments my mind is always organizing the tidbits I continue to gather. When I can hold no more I pour my thoughts upon the paper or screen. All the while I attend to life as it happens.