Snow Days and the Insanity of the South

Snow Days Should Look Like Snow DaysFor those that live in places that see snow frequently, we here in the South must seem a very strange lot.  The mere mention of snow is enough to send one to wonder if there is enough bread and milk at home.  Parents groan and children cheer for the possible snow day.  Why do snow days cause so much hubbub?

It starts with economics.  For an area that sees maybe a handful of days of actual snowfall what economical sense does it make to invest a great deal in snowploughs?  They do exist around here, but we aren’t talking a fleet unless you count one real snowplough and the plough attachment that could be equipped on another vehicle.  We do have these nice salters that spray the main roads with salt solution, too.

But why bother with the expense of doing anything when we can just call a snow day?  The snow lasts for like, what?  Two seconds?  OK, even if it snows for one day solidly and takes about a week to melt, the people will be fine.  They don’t need to go anywhere or do anything, right?

This brings us to the crazy stockpiling that happens at the mere mention of impending “inclement weather.”  You better have a full pantry, otherwise you will be left without bread and milk because if you do not go as soon as the weatherman hints at the bad weather, you may miss your chance.  Southerners have a mighty big craving for bread and milk as the snow falls outside…or so one would believe by the empty shelves in the grocery stores.

As for schools, they will be canceled.  We cannot risk the lives of our children to poor driving conditions.  Did I mention that Southerners can’t drive in snow?  No snow chains, and no snow tires.  We just don’t know what to do if we can’t drive the posted speed limit.  Weather shouldn’t effect that, right?

Now that the kids are homebound for a snow day from school, what in the world do we do with them?  Either parents have to call a sitter (good luck) or call in a personal day to work.  More insanity.  No school for kids, but every business still wants to operate like normal.  Yes, even the schools have “optional” teacher workdays for the teachers on snow days.  This means the crazy driving will commence.

Now the best part of all this snow insanity is when it doesn’t happen.  The weatherman reported the predicted conditions, the grocery stores where cleaned out of bread and milk, and the schools were closed, but the snow didn’t come.  There wasn’t even rain.  We just can’t win, but milk and bread sales are up.

,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply